you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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