You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
