Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
