I'm eating all of the evidence.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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