I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
