i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
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He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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