And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
