I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
