I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
