That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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