And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
