What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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