i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
