i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
i've created a new STD.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize