Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Randomize
