Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
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