So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
