I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
