this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
