I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
