i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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