I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
