after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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