The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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