idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize