So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
