Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize