You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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