Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
