we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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