We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
