He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
