finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Hippo gnu deer
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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