i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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