boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
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I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
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I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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