She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
