did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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