Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize