just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize