dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
one might say we're banned from that church
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
