hotel room ftw
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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