i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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