I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
