all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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