sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
