just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
