All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
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you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
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I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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