The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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