You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize