i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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