We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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