Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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