jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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