Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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