i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
