The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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