I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
