apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize